Mutant Renegade Zine

"Articles From Issue #14"

Ask the Dominatrix

By Mistress Freya

Dear Mistress,
Why are there so many different types of pain relievers? Are there any reasons that I can't take plain old aspirin?
- Painfully Confused

I will answer this in two sections, since it is a two-part question.
· First of all, different kinks require different treatments. For example:
· Regular strength for the weekend player
· Extra strength for amateurs
· Extra strength PM for amateur dreamers
· Midol for the periodical player
· Topical (Sports Crème, Ben-Gay, etc.) for the touchy-feely players
· REAL masochists don't need anything at all.

To answer the second part of the question: With all the different wonderful varieties out there, why choose plain old aspirin?

Dear Mistress,
How do you gap a spark plug?
- Grease Monkey

Order the mechanic to do it, and flog him until he gets it right.

Dear Mistress,
I had my tonsils removed as a kid; didn't I need them for something?

A proper submissive realizes that having tonsils (especially swollen tonsils) can get in the way of many things, such as the rare occasion that Mistress decides to feed you, Strap-on training or getting a proper fit on a collar

Dear Mistress,
What's the best thing to do for a sore back?
- billy

Obey your Mistress better. Other than that, I've always found that a good, heavy flogging works wonders on getting out the knots in back muscles.

Dear Mistress,
Why doesn't the smell of my own armpits bother me?
- Stinky hippy

First of all, if you showered daily there would be NO smell. Secondly, your nose should be under Mistress's boot instead of in your own armpit.

Articles #14

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